Best Oops Ever!
Approximately one year ago, the grandest, most glorious oops of my life came into fruition. The conception of my now, 3 month old baby girl. Unlike a lot of moms out there, I was in total disbelief. Shock, fear, denial. I experienced it all instantaneously.
My gut told me everything was going to work out fine. I wasn’t even worried about raising a child, potentially on my own ( I had no idea how this guy I JUST started dating was going to take the news.) I was more worried about sharing the news with my family. How was I going to explain this. How were they going to take it? Would I be failing them in some way?
I found myself playing the comparison game. There were a lot of people around me that were pregnant. Numerous co-workers, multiple family members, and friends. Every single one of those women were in a committed relationship. Married, and ready for their family of two to become a family of three, or four. The picture perfect scenario all us girls envision unfolding. I too, envisioned such a scenario for myself. However, that’s just not what happened.
I was mentally preparing myself for the shit talking and ridicule that would bestow itself. I got unsolicited advice from some, and support from others. My mother of all people, took it the best. She couldn’t have been happier. When I broke the news to the father-to-be, he pulled me in close and said, “whatever you decide to do, I support it.” My response was, “I’m doing this with or without you.”
My life took a complete 180. Within 3 months of knowing each other, we had a baby on the way, found a house, and moved in together. Someone please pump the brakes. I had to roll with it. Embrace each day and take it day by day. Growing a baby and relationship simultaneously. I had to ignore the opinions of others. The rumors, and negative comments made. They all managed to make their way back to me and as much as I wanted to call out every single person and set them straight I realized the best way to shut them up was to prove them wrong.
We’ve faced struggles, we’ve disagreed, bickered, cried, and laughed along the way. In the shortest amount of time, we’ve overcome some of lifes most challenging situations. Together, hand in hand. It hasn’t been perfect but it has been worthwhile. Our daughter has been our bigger picture. Luckily, we happen to really love each other so that has helped too! To this day, there are moments that can get to me. Do I refer to him as my boyfriend? Father of my child? Significant other?
When people see me with a baby and without a ring are they judging my situation? Are they making assumptions? Probably, but I guess thats life, right? Our journeys are all different. What makes one persons superior to another? I’d say, how happy they are. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been with someone for 20 years, or 20 days. What matters is how happy you are with that person. It takes work, sacrifice, and compromise. It takes a will to overcome every challenge life throws your way.
14 months later we have built a life I am proud of. A home, and family that I love with all my heart and soul. I cannot wait to see what else life has in store for us.
xoxo Stephany & Lu